Aptus Consultants

Making good decisions requires a calm head, but when things go wrong keeping calm can be very difficult. Of course, this is when you really need to make the right choices. 

So what do you do when the red mist comes down or the claws of fear tighten in your chest?

For the last few years I have spent a lot of my spare time at the base of big scary sea cliffs and rock outcrops, wondering “what I am doing here?” and learning much about mental discipline, the management of fear and making choices. 

Let's take a look at what I sometimes experience on approaching the crux moves of a climb at the limit of my meagre ability. 

I am tiring and I am convinced that the moves coming up are strenuous or difficult or both. Ignoring the knowledge that I have deliberately chosen this route because it is one that I think I can climb, my heartbeat races, my breathing becomes shallower, I tense my body and my feet scrabble, placing more weight on my failing arms.

This is the best way to fall off as fast as possible. Not only am I tiring all my muscles by tensing them, even the ones I don't need, I am reducing the blood flow to those muscles and reducing the efficiency of my breathing so they get less oxygen even as they struggle to clear the chemical byproducts of contraction that further reduces their strength.

Perfect. And because of my fear I can't see the holds more than 2 feet from my nose and have forgotten most of the moves I have learned over the last few years. I am doing my best to fail, and that means fall. Oh yes, and I am at the top of the rope, so falling means injury. Up goes my heartbeat again. The knowledge that I am tiring fast stokes my fear, pushing me further down the spiral that will send me plummeting off the cliff.

My internal voice tells me “I'm tired, it's difficult, I'm going to fall off” and some other things best not mentioned. Pictures of falling climber, broken limbs and bloody rock bubble under in my mind. Like a rabbit paralysed in the headlights of impending failure.

Clearly I am unlikely to make good choices in this state. Indeed, I have fallen off under very similar circumstances to this, only to climb the crux and discover that it was much easier than I made it first time. I didn't injure myself because the danger loomed much larger in my mind than in reality. 

Why? Because I was not thinking straight first time. 

Fear is not the only emotion that stops you from thinking clearly. Have you ever acted in anger, only to regret it later? 

In today's real-time on-line world it is very easy to react immediately and emotionally to bad news. A few years ago I fell into the trap of responding to an angry email from a friend by sending an even angrier response. This brief exchange of emails damaged a difficult situation beyond repair, and is something I still regret. 

Email, Twitter, Facebook, they all offer lots of opportunities for acting in haste, repenting at leisure, and now your friends, colleagues and competitors can all watch how you react from the sidelines. 

Stress can cause a more damaging longer term emotional imbalance. 

It takes more than counting to 10 to manage your moods effectively, although that can be a good start. I need about 10 minutes to disperse (most of) the fog of fear when I'm on a climb. 

Just as your emotion produces a physiological response (your raised heartbeat, shallow breathing and tensed muscles), so you can reverse those physiological changes to reduce the emotional response. 

Breathing fast? Concentrate on taking long deep breaths. 

Tense? Force yourself to relax with a 'wave of relaxation'. Starting with your fingers, slowly tense and then relax. Then do the same with your forearms, followed by your upper arms, shoulders, legs and feet in sequence. 

Finish by smiling and filling your thoughts with positive images of success. 

This last I must admit I find difficult. It's called 'visualisation', and should be a powerful technique for keeping yourself in the right frame of mind. For me it requires a lot of effort and practice. Don't underestimate the power of smiling though!

You need different techniques to manage your moods long term. Persistent difficulties can loom unjustifiably large unless you take steps to keep them in perspective. 

Try to find the time to review your options or choices regularly. Keep them in perspective and remember all the possible outcomes. The ones you fear may not be the most likely or even the most important. 

Use positive visualisation to help remind you of the success for which you are striving – eyes on the prize, as they say. 

My climbing is also part of my long term mood management. When I climb I concentrate utterly on climbing. If I get distracted I fall off, the feedback is immediate. It's a great way to free my mind from the clutter of work. It gives me a true release from these stresses. 

It is climbing and the discipline it has brought that has helped me to cope with the challenges of moving to Devon, building an eco house and launching a new business all at the same time.

I also cycle occasionally, and this I find helpful for more creative thinking. The combination of physical activity and freedom from the details of work seems to bring a better perspective, and often helps me solve tricky problems. 

Being physically tired after hours of activity also seems to raise my mood and help me place problems in their proper perspective, making positive visualisation much easier. 

Of course there are other techniques that I don't use, such as meditation, and I'm not advocating that everyone does as I do. You just need to use the techniques that work for you. 

However you do it, take control of your moods so they don't control you.